Why the Good Times Are Equally Abusive

Love bombing plays a crucial role in the cycle of narcissistic abuse. 

One of the most powerful realizations I had came when I learned that love bombing is also abuse. But how can that be? I had to learn that the abuser wasn’t two different people existing in one body. Their good side wasn’t who they “really were.” And their bad side wasn’t just a temporary slip-up. Both sides make up who the abuser is and both are abusive. Love bombing serves the narcissist well as a means to manipulate and control their target, making them more susceptible to the narcissist’s

tactics and less likely to leave the relationship. It fuels the flames of self-doubt and creates a dependency on the narcissist for validation and emotional fulfillment, making it difficult to break free from the abusive dynamic. Love bombing is just as abusive as the rest of the narcissistic cycle of abuse because it’s a manipulative tactic used to gain control over our emotions and actions.

So, exactly how are the good times also considered abuse? Keep reading.


False Pretense

Love bombing creates a false sense of intimacy and connection. The narcissist showers the target with affection and attention, making them believe that the relationship is genuine and fulfilling. However, this affection is often insincere and serves the narcissist’s agenda of manipulation and control. dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciut. Neque porro quisquam est, qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur.

Emotional Manipulation

Love bombing preys on our emotions, exploiting our vulnerabilities and deep desires for love and validation. The narcissist uses excessive flattery and affection to manipulate us into becoming emotionally dependent on them. This manipulation undermines our ability to think critically about the relationship and sets the stage for further abuse. We begin to doubt ourselves because it can’t really be abuse if they are also nice, right? WRONG.

Power Imbalance

Love bombing creates a power imbalance in the relationship, with the narcissist holding all the control. They overwhelm us with affection and attention and gain influence over our thoughts, feelings, and even our behaviors. This imbalance of power allows the narcissist to exert control over us and manipulate us to meet their own needs and desires. We will frequently begin to abandon our own needs in order to meet those of our abuser.

Setting the Stage for Abuse

Love bombing often precedes the devaluation phase of the narcissistic cycle of abuse. Once the narcissist feels they have gained sufficient control over the target, they may begin to devalue and mistreat them. Did you ever wonder why you felt so cautious during the good times? You knew what was about to come afterward. The contrast between the initial love bombing and subsequent abuse can be particularly damaging, leaving the target confused, hurt, and questioning their worth.

Impact on Self-Esteem

Love bombing can have a devastating impact on our self-esteem and sense of self-worth. When the excessive affection and attention suddenly stop, we feel rejected, unworthy, and inadequate. This can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, further reinforcing the narcissist’s control over us. We will then do anything in our power to try and get back to the “good times.” This is dangerous thinking because we begin to assume we have some control over their behavior. When in fact, we have none. All we can do is control ourselves and our thinking.

Safe and healthy love doesn’t leave you feeling confused, depressed, and rejected.

After Narc

Love bombing is abusive because it’s a manipulative tactic used to exploit your emotions, create a power imbalance in the relationship, and set the stage for further abuse. And it’s a huge part of why we become trauma-bonded with our abuser, keeping us stuck in this horrific cycle of dependency and control.

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